Wednesday, October 05, 2011


We've had an odd relationship for a little under 5 years. Funny how never once did I think I was going to stay with you long term. I always knew that you didn't really want me. It only surprised me how long it took for you to finally push me away.

Sure, there were some nice benefits. Your Canadian connection and your good relationship with many of my friends made it easy for me to justify those five years, but that in itself isn't enough for me to be with you any longer. I knew that at some point you would either reject me or take advantage of me. I'm not surprised that you chose the latter. I always knew you were a gold-digging .

I think the letter by post that you sent me was a nice gesture. Very business-like... then again you always were. Thankfully, I was never emotionally invested in our relationship, so I was not upset when I discovered it in my mailbox after returning from a week traveling. I simply read it and decided that it was time to move on. I'm doing alright and I'm sure I wouldn't have a hard time finding someone else. Don't worry about me.

What did surprise me is how much you were asking for in your ultimatum. (Yes, it was basically an ultimatum.) You technically left the door open for things to continue, but your demands were a bit much. Some demands are within reason - especially considering your reputation - but what you were asking for was absurd.

I had a chat with my barista this morning about the whole thing. Somehow the whole thing came up because I didn't have enough cash in my wallet. Anyway... he thought me leaving you was long overdue - especially in light of some of your other antics which I wasn't even aware of. I guess you've overextended yourself or made some bad investments, because apparently you're asking everyone for money.

Sure, we've known each other for a few years, but I don't think that justifies making us all responsible for your mistakes. I'm sorry you screwed up, but please don't come out of nowhere to ask me and everyone for some absurdly high contribution to your personal bailout fund. A bailout stemming from your attempt to screw us in the first place, I might add. If things get desperate, file for bankruptcy or find some sugar daddy like Warren Buffett (which I've heard you've already done). As for us - it's over.

Bank of America, good luck, and have a nice life.


1 comment:

mbagladiator said...

ha! clever girlllllll.