Tuesday, September 13, 2005

damnit netgear

Damnit NetGear... you made me do it.

For almost half a year I dealt patiently with your crap hoping that eventually you would end your rebellious stage and behave like a good network adapter.... but no.... you made me do it.

You could have worked flawlessly, or at least only die on me only periodically. But instead you chose to be fickle. I gave you your chances you bastard. I gave you more than your fair share of chances. But no, you had to be a pain in the ass.

My trials with your retarded behavior remind me of dealing with Sprint PCS. Months and months of crap with nothing to show. But finally, I decided to do something about it. I'm not proud, but it's not my fault... you made me do it!

You forced my hand. I wanted to leave you alone, but no. You forced me to whip out the surgical blade, slice you in half, then pry you apart with a screwdriver. Sorry... I didn't use a sterile blade... didn't give you any anesthesia. But hell, you deserve to suffer a bit after all the crap you put me through. Besides, it's for your own good, motherf*cker.

Now you sit in your normal spot, but you look a little different. Where's you're shiny grey jacket? Oh? Gone? What's that there in it's place? I see... a heatsink that I stole off my dead computer. Yes, your friends will all laugh when they see you. "What the hell is that wireless adapter doing with that gross heatsink on it?" they'll say as they point, appalled at the sight they see.

To be honest, I don't know why you need that thing either. Perhaps your true parents (yeah, you're adopted, bitch!) dropped you as a child. Or maybe it's just a birth defect. These things happen these days.

My intentions were good, I assure you. Maybe after you go a few weeks without passing out from the summer heat you'll realize that I'm really trying to help.

You had your chance. I saw you stumble, but I gave you a chance because I thought you could learn to walk on your own. Alas, I was wrong.

1 comment:

Paul Ip said...

Wow! These comments are really creative!