justification

I think I figured out how to justify my insane travel expenses for the year. I'll just imagine that I'm buying a new car (reasonable enough, no?). New cars depreciate about $10k the first year. Oh wow, that more than covers my travel expenses!

I hope this is a good gainshare year...

But face it, I'm not going to get the same opportunities again, so if I had to pay twice as much to go I probably would... then cut corners for the rest of the year. Besides, I don't need to buy food. I can just do what the mice do and eat all the food that people leave around the house.

Or... I can have a million dollar baby. Gonna go investigate that tonight.

updates to the itinerary

So today I got the OK to go to the UPA conference in Montreal this year. I also got the OK to use leapfrog off that trip into my two other trips (to Seattle and Japan). Booked the first set of tickets, now the only thing left to do is to book tix to Japan and also figure out exactly how I'm going to make it to my final destination (some combination of train, tram, walking?). Oh... gotta set up accomodations at all the places too. Fun. Thankfully, my trusty internet should help me out.

we have a winner

For the first time ever, I saw a Cavs game where the Cavs actually won. Incredible! And unlike last time, LeBron James was able to finish the game with his face intact.

But that's not all. Courtesy of Robert "Tractor" Traylor and his 6 points in the 4th quarter, we came away with free chalupas from Taco Bell. This is on top of the free McDonald's meal that we got with the tickets. Yay. I'm a winner.

Then again, something makes me think that I'll just give away the free food. Taco Bell and McDonalds aren't part of my regular diet and I don't want them to be.

bleh

You get a real entry today. Congrat, you win!

I had a shitty day. And I'm going to bitch. Here goes!

The drive into work was pretty uneventful. A definite plus. It was downhill from there. Contrary to my breakfast plans, the janitorial staff trashed my yogurt over the weekend. Yeah, they're supposed to do that, but I really would have felt a lot better if they didn't single me out. Did I forget to mention that everyone else's stuff was left there, only mine was gone? Yep. I'm special. I feel so loved.

One thing I learned today is that when I'm frustrated and tired my internal censorship can sometimes just not work. Unlucky for you, I just slept for an hour so I have the good sense to stop here (in case people at work are reading this... which I doubt).

Anyway, my day did end on a slight upswing. While talking about some text for a project, I came up with a novel solution to this nasty problem that we've been unsuccessfully trying to solve for 2 years. Yay me. Since I was tired as hell, instead of acting on it immediately, I drew it up in an e-mail using ASCII art and sent it to myself to review tomorrow morning. Wait... did I say my day ended on a slight upswing? ASCII art!? What the hell!?

And no, I don't want to work at Deloitte and Touche. No no no no no no no! I don't care if you a referral bonus or not!

confirmed

Japan A-OK. As Duffman would say, "Oooh-yeah!"

mmm... yogurt

I think my yogurt eating habits may be paying off. I'm going to do some focus group next week. Fun times. That'll buy enough yogurt for half a year.....

....

that's sad. I spend way too much money on yogurt...

And happy birthday to my mom!

wow

So I actually made it to the gym on Friday. Got the orientation and fitness assessment, then went over to do some weightlifting for the first time since 2002 (or was it 2001?).

So since that time I haven't done much of anything physical (aside from some hiking, running, and ultimate here and there). OK... so maybe I have. But regardless I thought that my muscles have atrophied, etc. etc. Especially the upper body.

Basically, my expectations were not too great. Without the part time job as a server/busboy I didn't have any regular opportunities to keep my arms in shape. Desk job. Yay.

Thankfully, I was wrong. My legs are still strong as hell, and my arms are about where they were when I lifted last time. I'm not sure if this is just a good omen, or is it telling me that I shouldn't bother working out at all? I will. I'll be good. Besides, I want to do this so I reduce the risk of my body breaking down on me when I do something fun (like ultimate...).

So I was able to find out my maxes on all the machines, and sometime next week I'll start working out for real. Then sometime in March or April I'll start running again. (If I time it right, my knees will start feeling like crap in August instead of June like they did last year).

usps

If you couldn't have guessed, this is going to be rant about the USPS. I'll try to keep it objective by only presenting the facts.

1. We moved into our house at the end of May, 2004. We still get *lots* of mail addressed to the people who used to live here. Not the fault of the USPS, just the fault of the people who used to live here. This is clearly evidenced by the fact that we got a package from the GAP, which was delivered by UPS. Oh yeah, there was also the time Arhaus Furniture came by to pick something up. This happened in the fall, a good half year after they moved.
   
2. We often get mail addressed to 3045 Worthington, Shaker Heights, OH, 44109. Right house number, street starts with the same letter, but wrong city, wrong ZIP, and most importantly, wrong house. This has happened at least twice, maybe three times. Doesn't this kind of mistake require a screwup at at least two post offices?
3. Last week we got a letter addressed to 3045 W. Walnut, Chicago, IL 66012. I'm beginning to wonder if we get all mail addressed to 3045 W.....something.
4. Today I recieved a ballot to vote for candidates for the UPA. I thought it was kind of odd since I thought they had already announced who won. I was also amused at how I was supposed to return it by Jan 1, 2005. Dated Oct 8, 2004. Postmarked Oct 13, 2004. Only took about 5 months. Brings a whole new meaning to first class.
   
5. My housemate Greg had a subscription to Maxim. A few issues seemed to have disappeared?
   

buff mofos

I finally signed up for the gym at work. Considering that I've been thinking of doing it since um... Fall of 2002? I think it's about time.

So the question is will I actually go and work out there? We'll see tomorrow. I have my fun fun fun fitness assessment. Hellz yeah. I get to see how out of shape I am, as well as how I'm still in better shape than most people. Yay me. I still feel weak...

thanks for the mercenaries

No better way to thank our allies than by paying them off. How about a measly $400 million? Just enough to run our military for 3 days. Oh... and you have to share.

For some reason this seems wrong on a few levels...

Firstly, aren't our allies supposed to help for free if they really believed in the cause? Doesn't paying them off make them mercenaries? Crazy metaphor time: Isn't your wife supposed to sleep with your for free? Wouldn't paying her off make her a whore?

Secondly, this almost seems like a way of saying "screw you" to the allies that dropped out. Burning bridges on an international level must be fun.

Thirdly, the amount is so trivial I almost see it as an insult...

Yes, we spend $1 billion each week for our operations. Thanks for your time guys. Here's $400 million. Please split it between all of you. Poland, since your people love freedom so much, you get $100 million. Everyone else can split the rest... You'd get more, but maybe next time you should love freedom more.

shakes head...

Found by Albert...

http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1413,36%257E53%257E2691638,00.html

What is this world coming to?

leprechaun

While at Scott's place we caught this great movie on Bravo (and I'm not even being sarcastic.... well... not really....): Leprechaun, Back 2 tha Hood.

Just looking at the title I knew it was going to be great, and it was. I never realized that the Leprechaun had ever been to the hood before. He definitely speaks like he's an Irish FOB. But anyway... that's not the point.

The point is that whatever sick genius came up with this idea is just that -- a sick genius. Who else would come up with a way to make random thugs match up against a thousand year old evil Leprechaun? Even I wouldn't be as bold as to say I could come up with something that crazy. The impressive part is that they even did a pretty good job coming up with the screenplay. And why wouldn't I be? These Hollywood magicians were able to come up with ways to integrate hydraulics (including some 3 wheel motion), hollow point bullets, and weed into final battle. For a film that's also known as Leprechaun 6, the story was pretty tight.

Now I'm not saying that this is the best movie in the world, because it isn't. Not even worth a rental. But if you're flipping through channels late at night and looking for some funny action, you should at least check it out. C'mon. Just look at the title. It *has* to be good.

japanese habachi

Today was the first time I've been to a Japanese "habachi" place since sophomore year of high school when I worked at one. It was pretty odd. Thankfully, it wasn't the exact same place that I worked at before, but I totally got this feeling not unlike hanging out with an ex-girlfriend after breaking up. The kind of feeling that surroundings are familiar, but you're playing an unfamiliar role.

Even though it was a different restaurant, the setups of the tables were the same (they always are). Not only that, but the plates were the same size and weight as the ones used at the Samurai. The only difference is that the plates didn't have the gigantix Samurai logo glazed onto it. The sauce containers were exactly the same. Plus, I could see clearly under the table from where I was sitting. Probably no one else paid any attention to it, but I recall clearly that I spend a good amount of time chucking stuff under there while at work.

So instead of being the busboy who cleared the tables, I was one of the customers sitting at the tables chatting away like an idiot. I saw the busboys there doing the same stuff I did... clearing tables, setting up tables. They even wore the exact same stuff as I did (sans the bow tie).

Then there was also the hot surface in front of me. My memories consist of me burning myself while packing up people's food. I passed my hand over it just to remind myself of what burning myself feels like. Nice... I still have the tolerance for it (mental... I haven't become superhuman -- yet).

Then the hostess came by with some warm towels for us to wipe our hands with. Finally, something that was totally different. Funny thing was that after I got the towel in my hands, that along with the hot surface in front of me promted me to think about wiping the cooking surface. I don't even remember that as being part of my job. Looking back now, I do *vaguely* remember that I was responsible for wiping those before (or after?) the restaurant opened. The sidework that we did at that place was awful.

We then got our soup. You would think this would be uneventful, but when I started having the soup I realized that I have *never* had the soup that way before. The soup is usually served with mushrooms and fried onions. But as an employee, what we would do is always mix the soup with rice, or better yet, have the soup with a huge amount of fried onions. I had the soup, but it was definitely better the other way. Just not as pretty.

That was about it. After a while it settled in, and thankfully, things weren't exactly the same as the other place. The tricks the chefs did were different, the food was a bit different, and most importantly the shrimp sauce was *way* healthier than the stuff I was used to. I was actually disappointed. After eating healthy for most of the week, I was totally OK with eating sauce that was almost 100% butter. Too bad it wasn't. Fat's tasty.... mmm....

pikachu, i choose j00!

I came across this while looking at sites for some of Japan's airports. Fun.

Pic 1
Pic 2

it's the hair, dude

For those who weren't watching [adult swim] last night (and for those who did)...

It's the hair, DUDE!

Dumbest real ad I've seen in a while.

stupid idea of the day

This came up in a discussion at work today, but I decided that it might be worth sharing...

Somehow we were on the topic of how unhealthy butter was. Mike was claiming that there's 100 calories in a spoon of butter. So for a 2000 calorie diet, one can consume 20 spoons of butter, equivalent to two and a half sticks of butter. Sweet.

Then I got to thinking that 100 calories isn't really that bad. After all, a can of Coke has 160 calories, and in my opinion, isn't nearly as tasty as butter. Of course Kevin didn't agree. I can understand why someone would value Coke more. Hell, it's got caffeine. That's one area where butter just can't compete. Or can it? Caffeinated butter. That would be pretty sweet. If they can make caffeinated soap, I'm sure they can make caffeinated butter. Then we can kill ourselves even faster! Yay!

et

The infamous Progressive ads from the 1999 Super Bowl have been uncovered. Check them out to see how much they sucked.

http://www.arnellgroup.com/ufiles/agworkmovies/prog_computer.mov
http://www.arnellgroup.com/ufiles/agworkmovies/prog_shuttle.mov

The Arnell Group is also responsible for the infamous (but this time in a good way) Terry Tate, Office Linebacker series. You can find a bunch of those there too.